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How To Photograph a New
Puppy
1. Remove
film from box and load camera
2. Remove film box from
puppy's mouth and throw in trash
3. Remove puppy from trash and
brush coffee grounds from muzzle
4. Choose a suitable
background for photo
5. Mount camera on tripod and
focus
6.
Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
7. Place puppy in pre-focused
spot and return to camera
8. Forget about spot and crawl
after puppy on knees
9. Focus with one hand and
fend off puppy with other hand
10. Get tissue and clean nose
print from lens
11. Take flash cube from
puppy's mouth and throw in trash
12. Put cat outside and put
peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
13. Put magazines back on
coffee table
14. Try to get puppy's
attention by squeaking toy over your head
15. Replace your glasses and
check camera for damage
16. Jump up in time to grab
puppy by scruff of neck and say- "No, outside! No,
outside!!"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess
18. Fix a drink
19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with
drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and stay" the first
thing in the morning |
